You’re out and about. Perhaps driving in your car, riding your bicycle, or mounting your neighbor’s trusty steed. Suddenly, BAM! The force of hunger washes over you, a tidal force that requires immediate satiation. What do you do? Conventional wisdom and marketing gurus tell you to reach for a Snickers bar, but that’s just marketing, and most candy will melt in contained areas. Plus, you might want something a little more substantial than a candy bar. Something that in the loosest sense of the word can count as a “meal.” Well, somebody’s got a solution for you.
It’s called the Candwich, and it’s Army C-Ration technology right in your hand. Or glove box. Whatever. It even comes with a candy “surprise,” and I’m not sure if the surprise is that it needs some mythical candy inside the can to sell, or if it’s the surprise that the candy turns out to be as terrible as the sandwich inside this small sealed tube. Regardless, I bet this sandwich is as good as Morbo’s belligerent and numerous children. It’s a pinnacle of modern human society that we could indeed can an entire sandwich, yes it is. When the aliens land, this will be proof that we are in fact equals.
Seriously, if you really are interested in emergency food, stock up on some Meals Ready to Eat. They’re not actually terrible, they’re nutrition, and you’ll probably like the variety of options compared to the Candwich. Plus, you can actually buy them, as opposed to the Candwich, whose proprietor looks to have run into some money troubles.