What is this “Three dee” you speak of?

This whole craze about 3D is meaningless to me. I cannot perceive depth because I only have one eye that can render things in focus. The other eye is mostly blurry, so it can’t be used to derive a stereoscopic image. So all of this hullaballoo about 3D movies, games, and TV means about jack and squat to me and my monocular vision buddies. It’s pretty much like that bit in Futurama when Leela goes to a 3D movie with the boys and waves the glasses in front of her cyclops eye and goes “Mine’s not working!”

This has the benefit of saving me money on 3D movies, naturally, since I don’t need to go to them. Since I can’t perceive depth, I’ve never really known what exactly I am missing from this experience. Magic eyes? Just gobbledygook on paper. This newfangled Nintendo 3DS? It’s basically just a normal DS to me with a slightly bigger screen. Thankfully, they put the 3D effect slider on there so I can turn it off.

It’s a bit scary, because it feels like the world might leave me behind. Everything might be in 3D some day when I’m older, and there’s just no way I can be part of that. Kind of a bummer when you think about it.

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