Played-out similes

When talking to my good friend Ricky yesterday, I made the simile of “I was like a kid in a candy store.” He rightly pointed out that this metaphor is totally played out. There’s got to be better ways to describe the utter jubilation and glee one has in certain sitautions. So, without ado, I present you a list of replacement similes. Feel free to use these in your own daily conversation and you’ll sound ten percent classier!

  • Like a crazed gunman in an ammunition store.
  • Like a pilot in a bar with free beer.
  • Like a dog in a bone store.
  • Like a cat in a cardboard box store.
  • Like Mario in a mushroom store.
  • Like Sergeant Hatred in an all-boys high school.
  • Like Gollum in a jewelry store.
  • Like Gene Simmons in a giant tongue store.
  • Like Jonathan Papelbon in a spies store.
  • Like Manny Ramirez in a cupcake store.
  • Like Winry Rockbell in an automail store.
  • Like Doctor Zoidberg in a dumpster.
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