Things I would put on my personal soundtrack.

This is man’s greatest invention. Nothing can surpass it. I always wanted my own personal soundtrack. Here’s what I would put into my 20 slots of personal annoyance.

  1. “Run Away!” from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Because things can go wrong quite quickly, and you never know when you need to escape from impending doom… and catapulted cows.
  2. Riley booing from The Boondocks. Someone stinking up the joint? “Boooooo. Hey, you wit da afro, get off the stage.”
  3. Need to put on some shades? You’ve got an instant CSI “YEEAAAAH” on tap.
  4. Walk into a room and need  to get the dance moves goin? Cue up some Stayin’ Alive. Hell yeah.
  5. Make a funny joke? Crack a rimshot!
  6. Joke not go over so well? Try a group of crickets.
  7. Need some secret agent action in your vintage Pontiac Firebird? Cue up some Peter Gunn, pop up your machineguns, and spill some oil to derail those Road Lords.
  8. Someone piss you off? It’s time for Alice Cooper and No More Mr. Nice Guy. No more Mr. Clea-hee-hee-heen!
  9. Do something really awesome? Didja level up? The Final Fantasy victory fanfare is a perfect accompaniment!
  10. Any one of Phil Ken Sebben’s “Ha ha!” sayings. My favorite? “Ha ha! Multiple entendre!”
  11. Professor Farnsworth’s “Good News, everyone!” Because we always need good news.
  12. “The Lineman” from NFL Films. People will know you mean business with this tune.
  13. “Don’t Stop Believin’.” I mean, c’mon. It’s not a soundtrack without it.
  14. “Bite My Shiny Metal Ass!”
  15. Nelson’s “Ha ha!” for pointing out silly, shameful things that happen to others.
  16. The Fullmetal Alchemist “Clap! Kaboom!” sound when Edward transmutes something.
  17. The song that plays when Brock Samson beats people up , preceeded by “THEY HIT ME WITH A TRUCK.”
  18. “What are we going to do tonight, Brain?” “The same thing we do every night, Pinky – Try to take over the world!
  19. “I am vengenace… I am the night… I AM BATMAN.” Because Batman makes everything right.
  20. The background music from the episode when Peter gets his own background music in Family Guy. Y’know, just to make it come full circle.

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